hello!! it's been awhile! we have much to discuss and share!!! but this post is going to be about top surgery!!!!
wei have been planning to get top surgery for nearly a decade now, it was always something we wanted out of our transition. it's really crazy to be able to sit here and say that it's something we've gotten done, it's really an emotional thing, and wei couldn't be happier to share this news!!!!! prior to this, wei had a pretty hefty cup size. so beyond the dysphoria this caused, they were generally a nuisence as well. so long!!! saionara!!! good riddance!!!!!
prior to getting the surgery, there was a lot of prep work. wei had to quit smoking entirely for 6 weeks, and any consumption of marijuana products for 2 weeks prior to the surgery. this was difficult but worth it!!! wei quit vaping as a result of this and hope to not start up again in the future. wei are also diabetic, so we had to put a lot of work into maintaining more consistent and healthy blood sugars prior to surgery. this was difficult, and something wei have struggled with our whole life, but our numbers keep going down and everything looks really good still!!
3 days before the surgery, we were advised to preload on OTC painkillers. 3000 mg of this stuff is a LOTT but it definitely helped. wei were also prescribed some more Heavy Duty painkillers (benzodiazepines), which did make us a bit nervous, but they were also very helpful in getting through the first week. not to be TMI,,, but stool softeners are a MUST if you are taking these kinds of meds lmfao.
the day of the surgery, wei were sooo nervous. it was still such a shock,, it's rly happening!!! wei had to fast for 12 hrs before the surgery itself, so wei were starvinggg. checking in for surgery, wei were definitely the youngest person there. and the happiest. wei got to pet a 12 y/o emotional support/service dog before wei went in for prep. the nurse who prepped us was so nice, and took her time to connect with me and explain everything that was going to happen in detail. our mom was also there to drive us home and whatnot,, she is a nurse, which we are so greatful and lucky for! she was on top of her game too, asking questions and being supper attentive to what the aftercare would look like. the Official Term for the procedure we got was a double incision mastectomy with liposuction, no nipple grafts. without nipple grafts, the recovery time is slashed down by two weeks (6 weeks, as compared to 8 with nipples). keeping your nipples is really a whole ordeal, and you have to be really careful about it. wei are not that attached tbh, so we figured. why bother.
wei were put in a gown and those grippy socks they give you at hospitals. they put us under a heated blanket and put in our IV. the surgical team and anesthesiologist came and introduced themselves, and then it was time! we were wheeled into the surgical stage, and sedated... and wei woke up to a floaty feeling, our mom by our side, and no more boobs!!! wei got some mac & cheese and custard from the hospital cafeteria, which was surprisingly good. the nurse was worried about the anesthetia hitting us hard and making us nauseous, but wei wolfed that fucking food down and felt fine. then, wei went home! our wounds were dressed, and wei were in a compression binder which has to stay on for the first 2 weeks 24 hours a day. it's almost cruel that u have to wear a binder after top surgery, but it's to help with the swelling and fluid buildup.
the first week of recovery is definitely the roughest. wei didn't expect to be so dependent on other people for literally everything. our post-op instructions included to "adopt t-rex arms", meant to prevent us from reaching or being too active. wei had to ask for help picking things up, getting into bed, moving in general. lots and lots of sleeping. wei are so lucky to have a great support network, and especially our mom to help take care of us. the drains were definitely very annoying, and often sore. they need to be "milked" (the tubing pulled & bulb drained of fluid) multiple times a day. getting the drains out is such a huge relief,,, wei got the first one out last week, and the second yesterday. so much more comfortable when there isnt tubes sutured to your sides!!!!
showers are also an interesting thing. wei can't reach, so our mom helps politely. wei still haven't had a real, proper, full-body shower since the surgery, but with the drains removed, that seems more and more possible. it's important not to get the surgical dressings/tape or drains wet, as it can increase risk of infection. wei have to body & hair washing seperately, all with mom's help. she jokes that wei owe her an ice cream after all this, lol
as of writing this, wei are curently nearly 2 weeks post-op. in 2 days, wei will be able to wear the compression binder for only 12 hours a day, with the rest of the day in a "step down" garment, or regular binder. we're slowly becoming more mobile, slowly getting more energy. it's a lot,,, and a lot of the emotions wei feel about all this are unexpected. of course we're extatic, but there's a bittersweetness, too. there are people wei expected to be in our life when this happened who aren't, y'know? it's sad, sometimes. but, at the same time, wei didn't expect to be alive long enough to get this procedure as a suicidal trans teenager. wei don't have to wear a bra anymore, wei can wear button-ups without feeling insane. wei can jump and dance and run and swim without this constant reminder of something we hate. it's magical, in a way.
maybe wei will update this post moar as our recovery continues,,, maybe not! again, sorry for the inactivity, but this shit is huge and awesome!!!!!!!! more to come, soon