hi everyone, long time since we've last written something here. abandoning the usual formatting because i'm tired and don't feel like it right now. on to updates!
we survived finals season, despite it all, and did pretty well. we added a sociology major to our existing psych major, and since we've been clearing the psych requirements so quickly, all of our classes next semester are sociology related. we are a bit nervous, given we don't have as much background knowledge on sociology as a field,,, but we are also excited for something new! our outlook is pretty optimistic.
on top of this, we have been considering graduate school as well. we want to have at least some clinical experience before we go into any research, so for now the plan is to get a masters in... something psychology related? probably social psych, but we would really like to go outside of the U.S. to pursue critical psychology specifically. it's a lot to think about... but we do have plenty of time. if anyone who happens to come across this post has any advice, please feel free to reach out!!
outside of school, things have been up and down. the biggest blow to our stability as of late was the conclusion of our relationship. it was.. messy. to say the least. it's something thats complicated so i don't want to go on here and try and explain it all to strangers, but i do want to at least share some of my thoughts with someone.
we had been dating for 5+ years, and we both changed a lot. i'm really angry and hurt, and the way it all ended really didn't help with that. i feel thrown away, discarded, not taken seriously or respected. it's really tough, when you dedicate your whole life to someone who just can't be honest with you or communicate with you and doesn't want to try to learn how. i wanted things to get better, and i put a lot into our relationship, but it can't just be one sided. that's not to say i was always right, or handled things flawlessly. i think it was always meant to end, and i regret the way it did. but i tried. i tried really hard.
the perspective we've tried to take is that this is an opportunity to refocus, put that effort into the other relationships we have with people in our life. we've been talking to old friends, connecting with new people. realizing that to be useful is not enough to truly be loved, but that mutual respect and investment is more important. i dont know when i'll feel comfortable enough to start dating again, i just don't want to burden other people with my baggage about all this. but it will come one day, i just have to be patient and focus on what i have. i've realized that if someone really likes me, they'll make it known without me asking for it. it feels good, makes me feel more confident. it's something different. im really hoping that i can keep pushing through and having more good days, i don't want to crash out and self isolate myself into a pit.
i've also picked up crochet... it's been really fun and a great distraction from all this. plus, i can make cute little gifts for my friends and family!!! i really like the repetition, i've been learning to follow patterns and having a blast. i want to spend less time in my dorm this semester, so maybe i can go to the library or even just in the common space and crochet there. i'll have to upload pictures of my projects here sometime... that's something i'll save for another day, though.
we do apologize for the lack of updates and activity here, especially for those applying to DYKENET or PluRing! we have not been on top of checking our email ;-; but we updated everything today, so it should be all set! we want to be a bit more active in updating this site, maybe we'll even revamp it...? who knows! either way, we do have a lot to look forward to.