hi, everyone!! it's been a bit since i gave y'all a personal update, so that's where we'll start!
we've been back at college for the past month, and things have been really busy! we've taken on some more social roles at college, including acting as treasurer for our college's feminist collective, as well as getting back into the swing of activism with my comrades here. it's been... a lot, to say the least, but i think we've been adapting quite well to all these new responsibilities. we still have time to mess around, game, and work on this site, so i would say things are going pretty good!! being the person organizing things like club meetings and events means that we have to be much more social as well, and although in the past we've been petrified of doing something like this, i really enjoy finding ways to bring people together, and i can find more excuses to do that!
being around people means that the topic of names often comes up. this isn't usually an issue; we use the name fynn in real life and for important things like school, where most people are interacting with us. but, obviously, we use other names too, particularly aspen in personal digital spaces, like social media and digital messaging services (like Discord and Signal). when these two groups overlap, and people interact with us both in real life and digitally, there seems to be some confusion about what to call us: fynn or aspen? do we have a preference? where did these names come from and which one should others use?
there aren't simple answers to any of these questions, due in part to our plurality. we are not open to those we know in real life about our plurality, so these people often don't know that these two names refer to two different parts of us. despite this, we have been using the names aspen and fynn in different spaces, digital and real respectively, for years; long before we were entirely aware of our plurality. in this post, we're discussing aspen and fynn as multiple names for a single being (unless stated otherwise), because that is how we are percieved by most people.
we chose the name fynn in 2016 after coming out as transgender, because we liked the sound of it and because it aligns with our heritage (German). the name aspen came about some years later, during COVID in 2020-2021, when we were spending much more time online. we wanted a more nature-alligned name, and aspen was a perfect fit. we had been thinking about changing our name for a while, and decided to compromise on using aspen as a purely online alias, while reserving fynn for in-person interactions. we didn't anticipate a cross-over of these two social realms, we expected only a few close friends to know about both names, but now that the people in my real life are interacting with me digitally, i have to address the discrepancy.
of course, because fynn and aspen refer to different parts, we do sometimes have a preference depending on whose fronting. but generally, we are blurry and cofronting, so we do not have a preference. i (fynn) have also been using both names depending on social context (digital or in-person), so i am okay being refered to as either, even if aspen is not fronting with me. we also collectively use the names aspens and aspen&, so while aspen does refer to someone specific, it also refers to all of us.
beyond a plural sense, i dislike when people ask me if i have a preference for one name over another. both names exist for a reason and they don't exist to be chosen between: both are our names, call us both. for me it's almost like asking if we prefer one set of pronouns out of the multiple that we use. the point isn't options that others get to pick and choose from, it's to use all of them!
the easiest reccomendation i can give people who have never used multiple names before is to follow the rules that the individual uses for their own names: my preference is that fynn be used in-person and aspen online, although i am not bothered by being called fynn online and aspen in real life. do NOT make a desicion on your own that one name is preferable or more important than another unless the individual makes that known themself. for me, i am fine with people using one name exclusively as well as switching between names, but again, i have specific contexts in which i prefer names primarily be used. i try to make this known where i can (introduction channels for servers with virtual/tangible overlap), but this is different for everyone, and you should talk to the person about their preferences if you are unsure. making assumptions is the biggest mistake you can make; just ask!!
i really like having two names. i like being able to use a different name in a different social context. i like sharing my names with others; with myselves, even if it's confusing for other people. i like being fynn and being aspen, and i want to help others understand why it's important for me to be fynn and aspen, not fynn or aspen. when people call me fynn, i know they're talking about me as a singular individual, or the body i identify with. when people call me aspen, i feel like they're talking not just about me as a singular physical being, but as a multitude; as aspens. they're recognizing a part of us that i don't typically announce or make known. they're speaking to a relationship with me beyond the physical; they're referencing who we are online, and i like that a lot. both the names fynn and aspen mean a lot to me in their own ways, and maybe this little blog post will inspire others to experiment with multiple names, or even explore their relationship with the names they already use.