truth be told, my feelings about college are complicated. i love college, the structure of it is really helpful for me, but i also hate feeling like an outsider everywhere i go. there are some things i can do, like join clubs and go to social events, but i ward people away from me with how anxious i get around them!!! it sucks so bad to crave connection but fear judgement so badly!!
last year was,,,, bad. on the social front. a really bad experience with my roommate led to a spiral that caused lot of paranoia and fear around my peers. i didn't really make any friends, and the ones i did weren't close. i want things to be different this time around
i'm looking forward to everything else, though! my classes, my work, my research are all something i enjoyed last year, and was pretty good at too (im also hyped to be getting paid again ;-;). im excited to be busy doing things that interest me!
either way, i feel a lot about it. and while i don't quite know how it will go, im excited to see. i'm starting in a different place now (and in a single too, thank god!), and i think that will do a lot for me. for my fellow students out there, best of luck to you for this coming school year!